Tuesday, June 07, 2005

What to do when it is 105 degrees in the shade with 100% humidity

  • Weep mercifully
  • Dive 10 meters into a well
  • Try to take a bath, then sweat immediately after
  • Ride a bicycle really fast to create a breeze
  • Take a nap and wake up thinking you are in hell
  • Sit in front of a fan…no wait, there’s no electricity
  • Drink warm beer until the heat becomes fuzzy
  • Hike 45 minutes to the river, dive in, then hike 45 minutes back to town feeling worse than when you started
  • Run into the shady jungle and be attacked mercilessly by mosquitoes
  • Stand in the sun ten minutes, then go back into the shade and think, “It’s really cool here”
  • Take a bus three hours to where the climate is cooler
  • Try and ignore the sticky, sweaty, slimy, stinky sensations and continue on with life
  • Talk to friends and neighbors and agree “Hace calor, ¿verdad?”
  • Commit “heaticide” (the act of suicide due to heat exhaustion)
  • Change clothes every 5 minutes; or walk around naked like a seven-year old
  • Eat a bunch of chili, then pretend it helps you cool down
  • Envy the hell out of the locals that aren’t from a northern US state
  • Pretend that you are in a “Twilight Zone” where the earth is falling into the sun
  • Read a book about Antarctic exploration
  • Stop whining and be a man


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